17 Weeks

17 weeks already? Wow! I am so glad to be to this point but also just want to fast forward the next 5 months. I just want her here in my arms nice and chubby and bring her home with us. I love her so much already.

Compared to my pregnancy with Logan I feel like I am 10 times more worried and anxious of things happening. I am trying so hard to stay calm. I don't want my anxiety to hurt baby girl. I am just so grateful for my care providers who care for me and want her here just as much as we do.

This past week has probably been my most emotional week during this pregnancy. Finding out the sex of the baby has made things more real for us and I want to plan out her life than there is the side of me thinking well I might just have to plan another funeral. That is what I mean when I talk about wanting a "normal" pregnancy. Not having to worry about if I will plan a funeral more than planning out things I will do with her. I understand most mothers worry about something happening to their baby's while they are pregnant but I think it is a little different when you have already lost a baby.

It is like riding a roller coaster. One minute I am planning what we are going to do together and the next I am pulling myself away from going that far. So I want this pregnancy to FLY by so I can be a mommy finally and bring her home and love her so much with hugs and kisses. I just want to hold my very own baby. I am done holding everyone else's. I mean they are cute but they aren't my babies. I want my baby that wants me over everyone else. So if I don't ask to hold your baby don't be offended my arms are waiting for my little girl. I hope you understand.

15 Weeks



Her tiny footprint

5 weeks



4 Wonderful Years!

I have been wanting to do a fun post lately and thought that I would save it for our 4 year Anniversary and document all of the wonderful things we have been able to do together and start together. Here it goes:

July 16th, 2008 We were sealed for Time & all Eternity in the Ogden LDS Temple 

Spent our Honeymoon in Orlando, FL at Disney World! I want to go back SO bad! Although it was hot and we were sweaty it was so much fun! 

6 months later my sister found an unbelievable deal on airfare to Orlando again...so we took off to Disney World again because it was SO cheap... we couldn't resist and I have NO regrets of going twice in one year. 

We've gone to Bear Lake a ton in between these times. 

We bought our First Home! (You should see it now this is right after we bought it)

We went to Las Vegas to a Hair Show with some great friends of ours! First time I was allowed to Gamble.

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We went to Mexico for our first time with my parents and sister Sheena and her Hubby Nick. 

In September we headed on the long wide open road to DISNEYLAND with Jay D's Family and stayed at the Disneyland Hotel and it was so much fun! 

In 2011 last minute we decided to go to Hawaii for 10 wonderful best decision we ever made days with my parents and again my sister and her family! 

In 2011 last minute we decided to go to Hawaii for 10 wonderful best decision we ever made days with my parents and again my sister and her family! 

End of May of 2011 we found out that we were expecting our first baby! 

It's a Boy! 

October 19th, 2011 our lives changed forever and we were surprised with an early arrival of our sweet little boy Logan who made us a mom and dad. He was with us shortly and has changed our lives forever! 

May 2012 we found out we we're expecting baby #2 15 weeks along now! 

Jay D and I have been able to make a lot of memories together and travel a ton. These last 4 years have been the absolute best with a little worst in there... but thanks to this wonderful guy I have in my life I still have a smile on my face and I am still chugging along. Jay D you are my best friend and I love you so much! Thank you for being the perfect dad for our perfect little boy Logan and soon to be another little one that we will bring home with us this time. =-)