Compared to my pregnancy with Logan I feel like I am 10 times more worried and anxious of things happening. I am trying so hard to stay calm. I don't want my anxiety to hurt baby girl. I am just so grateful for my care providers who care for me and want her here just as much as we do.
This past week has probably been my most emotional week during this pregnancy. Finding out the sex of the baby has made things more real for us and I want to plan out her life than there is the side of me thinking well I might just have to plan another funeral. That is what I mean when I talk about wanting a "normal" pregnancy. Not having to worry about if I will plan a funeral more than planning out things I will do with her. I understand most mothers worry about something happening to their baby's while they are pregnant but I think it is a little different when you have already lost a baby.
It is like riding a roller coaster. One minute I am planning what we are going to do together and the next I am pulling myself away from going that far. So I want this pregnancy to FLY by so I can be a mommy finally and bring her home and love her so much with hugs and kisses. I just want to hold my very own baby. I am done holding everyone else's. I mean they are cute but they aren't my babies. I want my baby that wants me over everyone else. So if I don't ask to hold your baby don't be offended my arms are waiting for my little girl. I hope you understand.
15 Weeks
Her tiny footprint
5 weeks
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5 comments:
So excited and happy for you Lauren! Its been too long since I've seen you, probably should fix that and get together :) You look great by the way!
Yay! How fun! I remember April feeling the same way. And being on bedrest with Paisli for 3 months, was tough. I just prayed that I'd get to the end and bring her home safe and healthy! I am praying for you all the time! You look great!
You look so cute! She is going to be so adorable!
you look so cute!!! I'm so glad youre doing well with this pregnancy. And I totally know those feelings you really just can never have a "normal" pregnancy after you've lost a baby. Until that baby girl is in your arms you will have anxiety of course all the milestones along the way make it easier as it goes but its so hard! love you girly! you can do it!! she's gonna be here before you know it!!!
So many things you say ring true with me! I want to hold my OWN baby so badly and can't wait to bring him home...and then I hope and pray that I really do get to bring this baby home.
Pregnancy is surely filled with different worries and anxieties for us mammas! What a glorious moment it will be once we can take our little ones home with us.
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