Our Story..or mine

Don't read if you are easily offended of what other people say.. I am not going to make it all sweet & happy.

Jay D and I during our first year would always talk about when we would have kids and we never had a for sure decision of when. I have always been so baby hungry so to wait was hard but I knew we needed too. Just after a year of being married we decided we would do the "if it happens it does if not that's okay" thing. Well after about 9 months of that happening I was completely ready to be pregnant.

During this time we saw many of our friends get pregnant and have their babies. This was a difficult time for me. Little things people would say would erk me but I would just keep a smile on my face and pretend nothing was going on. I hated hearing things like it took us sooo long to get pregnant (I'm thinking you have no idea) or things like you just wait having kids is a lot harder than it looks. I am thinking I know having kids isn't easy but all I have ever wanted was to be a mom. I'll take ANYTHING. (I am sorry if any of this is rude) I just think in my situation it has really made me think about what I say to people because you never know someones situation.

Than we had one of the best days of our lives! We got a positive pregnancy test!!! We were so excited and couldn't wait to tell everyone. Our dreams were finally coming true!! We were thrilled when we found out we were having a little boy! I didn't care what we were having either way but a BOY I just couldn't wait to spike his hair, have a little mama's boy, be the BIG brother.

Everything in my pregnancy was going so well. I wasn't sick and I felt great! Than all hell broke loose when I went to labor and delivery. I couldn't believe what was happening. I was in a daze the whole time. It felt like a nightmare and it still does. I am also grieving not only the loss of my baby but the loss of a pregnancy. I still haven't felt what its like to be completely big and pregnant or have swollen feet. Or all the other horrible things that happen in pregnancy. I will take them over loosing my baby.

I ache so badly for Logan. I have a difficult time thinking of having another baby when I really just want Logan here in my arms. I come home to an empty house, flat stomach (compared to my round belly), empty crib, empty room. I am jealous of all the pregnant mothers. I am jealous of all the mothers who have given birth to healhty babies who all seem to be boys right now. I hate facebook for giving me those updates but I can't seem to just DELETE the darn thing!

Logan's Buddies

A lot of people have asked if we are still doing Logan's Buddies.

The answer is YES!

This is a great way for us to do something in honor of Little Logan!

If you would still like to Donate a Buddy in honor of Logan please contact me

dal.pass@gmail.com or 801.644.6888

$27 this includes tax

You can pick your buddy here

Logan's Buddies!

As a mother I feel as though I need to do more for my little guy.

I feel blessed I've been able to get my milk in so easily because that is a way I can provide nutrition for my Logan that will help him grow strong. I've been thinking of ways that I can do more for him!

I was planning on doing a donation to a foundation with Scentsy Buddies for Christmas this year already but under the circumstances I want to donate Scentsy Buddies for christmas to the NICU for all the babies that will be there for Christmas this year. One of those babies will be mine.

Logan will have little buddies around him and we want to help those buddies feel good on christmas.

My goal is to get at least 30 Scentsy Buddies by christmas if not more.

If you'd like to donate a Buddy for Chrismtas to the NICU babies please contact me.

They are $25 and come with a scent pak.

You can choose what buddy you want to donate and the scent.

You can order online but you would have to pay shipping or you can order through me and get free shipping.

laurend.scentsy.us

1 Buddy will make a difference to 1 of Logan's buddies this Christmas =-)

Thank you



Logan Jay Dalpias

Logan Jay Dalpias was born at 8:13 AM on October 19th, 2011 at 1 Ib 5 oz & 12.5 in long and a little bit too early but he is doing ok as of now.

I love this little boy so much already. I have witnessed so many blessings throughout him getting here. He knew we wanted him originally a lot sooner so I guess he decided to surprise us and come early!

Dear Logan,

It all started the morning of Tuesday Oct. 18th when mommy woke up to use the bathroom at about 5:40. She noticed blood and called her mom to get a peace of mind. Your Grandma told mommy to stay down and wait about an hour to call Mommy's midwife who has take such good care of you. That hour came and Mommy called her midwife and her midwife said if no cramping was involved discoloration was normal. I was still a little worried but fell back to sleep till about 9:30 am when mommy used the restroom again and noticed more blood. Mommy was now concerned and did notice some cramping so she contacted her midwife again and she told me to head up to Labor and delivery.

Mommy was worried but tried to stay as calm as possible to try not to cause more stress for you. I called your grandma and asked her to come to the hospital with me thinking we wouldn't be there all day and that I was just over reacting as first time mom's do! The labor and delivery was really busy and they treated me as though I was one of those girls but my mom said your midwife told you to come and that is why you are here. Oh boy am I happy that I listened to my gut and my midwife!

When the Nurse checked to make sure everything was okay she noticed that your amniotic sac was low and could pop at any moment and soon we were in panic mode. I had called your daddy before all this happened to let him know where I was headed and I would call if he needed to get up here.

The nurses rushed and got some medicine for your lungs to develop faster and put a IV in my hand and got mommy on some medicine that made me really hot! But it was all worth it to make sure you were safer. Mommy laid in a ramp like position with my head at the bottom and no food or drink and I was very uncomfortable but knew it was for my Logan whom I was already in love with so much.

I was told I would stay at the hospital until you were born which could be days or weeks. We were hoping to keep you in longer to get you better cooked inside. A huge blessing we witnessed was that the OB who delivered you was on his way to check me when mommys water broke. I felt calm and peaceful during this experience. They got me ready to deliver you and I had planned on doing a c-section vertical cut because you decided to be breech with your feet in my cervix but the doctor decided last minute to deliver you the normal way because you were already down so low and it would have caused a lot of stress either way. This is yet another blessing to make it easier for mommy to give you brothers and sisters.

You came out really fast and they took you away to the NICU People who performed CPR and breathing treatments to make you stronger and daddy watched you. Mommy didn't even get to see you she had to go get situated first and this made me really sad because I love you so much.

After Mommy was situated and in her new room I came to see you as soon as I could with Daddy, Grandpa & Nana Dalpias & Grammy & Papa Speechly. Your daddy gave you a Name & a blessing which was so so sweet and your heavenly father loves you so much. There was so much love in the room. We all got a picture with you and loved you from your nice warm little bed.

You looked so sweet and calm. When we talked with you, you noticed our voices.

We have witnessed the power of prayer from so many people who love you and want you to grow strong and healthy.

Your Heavenly Father & savior love us all so much and we are so grateful for the atonement and the blessings we have witnessed through out you getting here to us!

1st Blessing- Mommy & Daddy weren't out of town at the families cabin & mommy wasn't on her way to Vegas yet with Papa and Grammy . Timing was perfect on me being home.

2nd Blessing- We got into the hospital in time to have nurses and doctors see what was wrong before my water breaking away from the hospital.

3rd Blessing- You were a healthy strong little baby in Mommy's tummy before this all happened so you could come be a fighter!

4th Blessing- Mommy recognized that something was wrong and went with her intuition and listened to the spirit to check it out.

5th Blessing- So many people have been praying for you & mommy & daddy

6th Blessing- We have insurance at one of the best NICU hospitals in the country

The blessings just continue to come and we feel the outpouring love from Friends & family

As Logan's Mommy I want to express my love & gratitude to all of you who have been so sweet, giving, loving, praying, everything for our sweet little boy Logan! We love him so much and want him to continue to grow strong and healthy so he can come home with us. Logan will most likely be in the NICU until his original due date in Feb. So we have a long road ahead of us!

Thank you!

Love, Jay D, Lauren & Logan

In Love!

If you have yet to join pinterest.. than poor you!

I waited WAY to long and I am in love with it! I was against getting into something else but it seriously is amazing! I actually look forward to cooking and baking because I have found so many yummy recipes! Basically I love it mostly for recipes to try because I love food!

But if you haven't joined than do because your missing out and you'll wish you had joined sooner! Let me know if you want an invite it's a lot faster than requesting one =-)