Why me? You'll laugh your head off! but corny

okay! so for many years I have had the privelage of dodging this horrible experience I have encountered. I figured I had been doing all the right things washing my hair, brushing my teeth, grooming so I look nice and praying each night and going to church each week. Yet, this was not enough to dodge this horrible experience I had in my 20 years of life so along they way I must of done something wrong! As I was walking into the distribution center to purchase some temple items I felt a splash on my head... your exactly right a bird pooped on my head of all things! After many years of chasing birds in NYC, Flordia, California just pretty much everywhere I go and yes I still chase birds ( it is thrilling to me for some reason it brings back the kid in me) they got together and decided to target me! Birds you win! but I can't promise I'll stop chasing!