Healing

Healing, Grieving, figuring my emotions out has been difficult. It has been up & down and all around. Writing on here has been the best thing for me because I can write them down and try to figure this thing out.

Losing Logan has been the most difficult challenge I have ever gone through. I feel like after losing him I have to start from square one. I want a baby SO bad but I also don't want one right away because I feel like I need to grieve the loss of Logan first, however, I also feel when I finally have a baby in my arms I will feel relief.

I write a lot of things on here within the heat of the moment. Some things just feel better written out and I have probably said things I don't really mean or feel. Figuring all this out has been hard on me and this is the best way for me to figure it out. I don't completely feel comfortable talking about it to people face to face because they may not want to hear about it and I don't want to put anyone out with my problems.

A lot of different things have happened since the loss of Logan that has also added fear, heartache, anxiety in my life. It is difficult for me to handle all of it. I am trying to be accepting, handle those problems, be supportive but there are times I just can't handle it anymore.

I'm taking it day by day trying to figure this grieving thing out. I am debated back and forth about going private because I feel like some people read my blog because they think I am crazy but that is not the purpose of my blog. I have decided to keep it open because I hope it can help other grieving mothers, whether it thru infertility or the loss of a child. So those of you that read it because I'm a crazy person bare with me..I'm not crazy lol just figuring it all out!